It's a Doggie Dog World
by Sydney3
Summary: Niles and Daphne's children want a puppy. The women in his life go to great lengths to convince the good doctor to bring one into their home and they use every trick in the book.


Authors Notes: This is just a story I have been tinkering with for awhile. I thought I would post it here as a change of pace, you might have read some of my work on Eunice's page. I'll post this story there soon, just giving it a trial run here. Please if you have any suggestions, let me know. I don't own these characters from 1993 and until 2004, they are the property of Paramount Television and Grub Street Productions. Thanks for reading  
  
It's a Doggie Dog World  
  
By  
  
Sydney Long  
  
(SgtMIckey@aol.com)  
  
  
  
"Hey Rocky," Martin said opening the door to find his granddaughters holding his dog and his toys, "hi girls."  
  
"Hi Grandpa," Vanessa said walking in the apartment and letting go of Rocky's leash.  
  
"Hi Grandpa," Hannah said following her sister and dumping Rocky's toys onto Frasier's coffee table.  
  
"Hannah, why don't you go put Rocky's things away," Daphne said to her four year old.  
  
"Okay," Hannah said walking back to Martin's room.  
  
"Hey kids," Martin said as Martin closed the door behind Daphne and Niles.  
  
.  
  
"Hi Dad," Niles said, "how was your trip?"  
  
"Could have been better if your brother hadn't called me every 20 minutes," Martin said plopping down in his chair as Rocky jumped in his lap, "he whines about never having the apartment to himself, and when he finally does, he can't handle the silence."  
  
"He should have just come to our house," Daphne said sitting down on the couch, "with the girls running around and the dog barking, he would have probably been right at home."  
  
"Ya never know with Frasier," Martin said searching Rocky's collar.  
  
"Dad, we didn't take him to a spa," Niles said knowing what he was looking for, "as much as I wanted to, our children wouldn't hear of it."  
  
"Well good," Martin said, "so did he eat? Did he fetch? Was he regular?"  
  
"Yes, yes and ask the girls," Niles said as six-year-old Vanessa made her way to the couch.  
  
"What does regular mean," Vanessa said climbing into her fathers lap.  
  
"You don't want to know," Niles said.  
  
"Grandpa," Hannah said walking back into the room, "we got Rocky some new toys, but they're staying at our house for the next time he comes over."  
  
"Oh great," Martin said, "did ya teach him any tricks?"  
  
"Martin, they're 4 and 6," Daphne said, "We're still teaching them tricks."  
  
"We taught him how to play tag," Vanessa said, "and he can climb trees."  
  
"When did he do that," Daphne asked while Hannah wedged herself in between her parents.  
  
"When you weren't looking," Vanessa said.  
  
"What else do you two do when I'm not looking," Daphne asked.  
  
"Nothing," Hannah and Vanessa said innocently.  
  
"Why don't I like the sound of that," Daphne said teasing her daughters.  
  
"Well, thanks for looking out for Rocky," Martin said, "I'm sure he was in good hands."  
  
"Can he come over and play some time," Hannah asked.  
  
"Sure," Martin said, "he can run around in your big back yard."  
  
"Great. Can't wait," Niles said sarcastically, "well ladies, shall we head home? We brought back the dog. Our job's done."  
  
"What's your rush," Martin asked.  
  
"If you must know," Niles started to say.  
  
"On second thought," Martin said, "don't answer that."  
  
"You probably wouldn't want to hear the answer anyway," Daphne said standing up, "girls, go kiss your grandfather good bye and we'll be on our way."  
  
"Bye Grandpa," Vanessa said and then with a touch of sadness, "bye Rocky. Be good."  
  
"Bye Grandpa," Hannah said kissing his cheek, "see ya Rocky."  
  
"Bye guys," Martin said watching his family disappear into the hallway.  
  
IN THE CAR  
  
The girls were a bit mopey once they got in the car to go home. Both Niles and Daphne picked up on it.  
  
"Why the long faces," Niles asked looking back at his daughters through the rearview mirror.  
  
"No reason," Vanessa said.  
  
"Well you're awfully quiet," Daphne said looking back to see the girls staring out the window, "both of you."  
  
"We're fine Momma," Hannah said.  
  
"You're sure," Daphne asked.  
  
"Yep," Vanessa said not taking her eyes from the window.  
  
"Okay," Daphne said.  
  
They continued the car ride in silence. The next couple of days found Niles and Daphne's children to be quite mopey. They walked aimlessly around the house and would just sit on the swings in the back yard. One afternoon, they watched their girls swing in the backyard.  
  
"Honey," Daphne said as they watched the girls through the glass doors, "I think we have a problem."  
  
"What makes you say that," Niles said slipping his arms around her.  
  
"Oh come on," Daphne said slapping him playfully slapping him on the arm, "you can't tell me that you haven't been noticing our children's behavior."  
  
"Well, they have been a little moody lately," Niles said, "but they get that from you so."  
  
"Niles," Daphne said with a laugh, "I'm serious."  
  
"No, you're right," Niles said.  
  
"So what are we going to do about it," Daphne said.  
  
"Nothing," Niles said.  
  
"Nothing, Niles we can't just let them mope around the house," Daphne said, "We should talk to them."  
  
"What should we say," Niles asked resting his chin on her shoulder.  
  
"Um," Daphne said thinking about it for a moment, "we should let them know that if something is bothering them, they can always come to us. No matter what the problem is, we'll hear them out."  
  
"Okay then, go tell them," Niles said pushing her to the door.  
  
"Me, why can't you do it," Daphne asked.  
  
"Why should I," Niles asked.  
  
"Because you're their daddy," Daphne said realizing that he's not moving, "oh all right. I'll go talk to them. But the next time this happens, you can deal with it."  
  
  
  
"Deal," Niles said watching her join their daughters on the swings.  
  
Niles stood at the door not able to watching his family. His wife had a way with their daughters and if anyone could drag the problem out of them it would be her. Daphne spoke with the girls for several minutes. Niles looked down to check his watch and looked up to find three pairs of eyes watching him from the swing set.  
  
"Oh no," Niles said to himself, "that's not good."  
  
After a few more minutes Daphne started to make her way back to the house shaking her head and laughing.  
  
"Well," Niles said as she walked back into the house, "what's wrong?"  
  
"Oh we most definitely have a problem," Daphne said, "They miss Rocky."  
  
"How is that a problem," Niles asked.  
  
"Niles, I think they want a puppy," Daphne said walking over to the fridge.  
  
  
  
"Are you all buckled in," Niles asked Hannah as he started the car.  
  
"Yep," Hannah said looking at her father.  
  
"Did you have fun at school," Niles asked pulling away from the curb.  
  
"Yep," Hannah said before becoming silent for a few minutes, "Sara brought her new puppy to school today."  
  
"Did she," Niles asked not liking where the conversation was going.  
  
"Yep and it was really cute," Hannah said excitedly.  
  
"Well puppies are cute," Niles said.  
  
"Daddy, why can't we get a puppy," Hannah asked.  
  
"Because puppies are loud and smelly," Niles said.  
  
"But they're fun," Hannah said.  
  
"They scratch and chew up the furniture," Niles said.  
  
"They'll teach us responsibility," Hannah said trying to sound grown up.  
  
"They'll chew up your favorite teddy bear and then you won't want it anymore," Niles said.  
  
"They'll protect the house and keep our feet warm at night," Hannah said.  
  
"I won't get to read the paper in the morning because it would be covered in doggie drool," Niles said turning onto their street, "and after three days, you guys won't want to take it for walks, you'll forget to feed it, to let it out, and make sure it has water."  
  
"No we wouldn't," Hannah said, "we'd take good care of it."  
  
"Puppies grow up you know," Niles said pulling into their driveway.  
  
"So will I," Hannah said.  
  
"Honey, I just don't think getting a dog is a good idea," Niles said.  
  
"Fine," Hannah said jumping out of the car and slamming the door as hard as a four year old could.  
  
She stormed into the kitchen not noticing her mother sitting at the counter with the newspaper and a cup of tea.  
  
"Oh bloody hell," Hannah said stomping through the kitchen.  
  
"Whoa," Daphne said catching her daughter by the overalls, "come back here."  
  
"Hi Momma," Hannah said innocently.  
  
"Where did you learn that expression," Daphne said pulling her daughter into her lap.  
  
"From you," Hannah said.  
  
"And why on earth are you running through the house shouting things you shouldn't be saying until you're 30," Daphne said as Niles walked in the door.  
  
"He started it," Hannah said squirming off her mother's lap, "he's being difficult."  
  
"What did you say to her," Daphne said hearing her daughter pound up the stairs.  
  
"Oh nothing," Niles said leaning in to kiss his wife.  
  
"Not so fast," Daphne said putting her finger to his lips, "what did you say?"  
  
"I said that gettingadogwasnotagoodidea," Niles said rapidly as we walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.  
  
"Oh Niles," Daphne said, "how could you say that to her?"  
  
"It finished the argument," Niles said, "I swear, arguing with her is like arguing with myself."  
  
"I could have told you that," Daphne said reaching for him, "Come here."  
  
"Okay," Niles said walking over to her.  
  
"Explain to me why getting a dog is a bad idea," Daphne said slipping her arms around his waist.  
  
"You mean you like the idea," Niles said.  
  
"Sort of," Daphne said as he made a face at her, "Oh don't give me that look. I may like the idea, but I want to hear your thoughts on the whole thing."  
  
"I'll tell you the same thing I said to Hannah, dogs are loud, smelly, they chew up everything, they howl," Niles said, "and three days after we get it, the girls will neglect the dog and go back to their Barbie's, which leaves us to take care of it."  
  
"So," Daphne said looking up at him.  
  
"Honey have you forgotten that dogs and I don't exactly get along that well," Niles said, "remember Eddie? When Dad went on that trip with Duke, he asked me to watch Eddie for him and I wasted no time in putting him in a dog spa."  
  
"Kennel," Daphne said laughing at the memory.  
  
"For the last time, it was a spa," Niles said, "a very expensive spa."  
  
"Well what about that time we had those puppies," Daphne said reaching up to caress his neck, "that one little puppy loved you, the way it kissed your ear."  
  
"Okay," Niles said, "enough time has passed, I can tell you the truth about that. I put pâté behind my ear."  
  
"Why in the world did you do that," Daphne asked.  
  
"Well at the time I was trying to impress you," Niles said.  
  
"So you bribed a puppy with pâté," Daphne said.  
  
"I know it wasn't the smartest thing to do," Niles said resting his hands on her shoulders, "it worked though, did it not?"  
  
"I honestly don't remember," Daphne said with a laugh, "my eyes weren't exactly open to you back then. But that's beside the point."  
  
"Daphne a dog would disrupt the peace. I mean listen to that," Niles said.  
  
"Listen to what," Daphne asked.  
  
"Nothing," Niles said, "honey that's just it. If we get a dog, silence will be no more."  
  
"Niles, there hasn't been a silent moment in this house for at least six years," Daphne said looking a the ceiling when they heard Hannah banging around upstairs, "see. And besides, a dog howling at the moon would stifle the noise you make when we're making love. If I have to tell the girls you fell out of bed one more time."  
  
"Daphne, I don't like dogs," Niles said looking at his watch, "damn, I have to get back to the office."  
  
"Think about it," Daphne said, "please."  
  
"Oh all right," Niles said leaning in to kiss her, "I'll be home at four."  
  
"Okay, I love you," Daphne said.  
  
"I love you too," Niles said walking to the door, "I'll call you when I get to the office."  
  
"Okay," Daphne said as her husband slipped out the door, "I certainly have my work cut out for me."  
  
Daphne then made her way upstairs to check on her daughter.  
  
"Hannah," Daphne said not sure if she was in her room or the playroom.  
  
"What," Hannah said quietly from within her room.  
  
"There you are," Daphne said walking in to find sitting on the floor playing with Rocky's toys, "are you all right?"  
  
"Momma, why does Daddy have to be so stubborn," Hannah asked.  
  
"Because that's just the way he is," Daphne said joining her on the floor.  
  
"Well he's a pain in the butt," Hannah said.  
  
"Hey, you really don't need to be talking like that," Daphne said.  
  
"Vanessa does," Hannah said.  
  
"Well she shouldn't be talking like that either," Daphne said.  
  
"You and Daddy talk like that," Hannah said.  
  
"Well, we're allowed to," Daphne said, "You and Vanessa are far too young to talk like that."  
  
"Oh all right," Hannah said looking at the dog toy.  
  
"Sweetie, what's wrong," Daphne said reaching over to stroke her cheek.  
  
"Sara brought her new puppy to school today," Hannah said.  
  
"That's what your father said," Daphne said, "Did she let you hold it?"  
  
"Yeah," Hannah said, "Momma, it kissed my nose. Like Rocky does."  
  
"Oh munchkin," Daphne asked, "You want a puppy don't you?"  
  
"Yes," Hannah said quietly, "but Daddy says and I quote honey I just don't think getting a dog is a good idea."  
  
"That certainly sounds like your daddy," Daphne said pulling Hannah into her lap.  
  
"Momma, can you talk to him," Hannah asked cuddling in her mother's arms, "please. Tell him that getting a puppy is NOT a bad idea."  
  
"I'll see what I can do," Daphne said kissing her forehead.  
  
"Hi Mom, hi Hannie," Vanessa said walking into the room, "what's going on?"  
  
"Hi sweetie," Daphne said holding out her arm, "come here. Let's have a little chat."  
  
"Is this about Daddy," Vanessa said joining her mother and sister on the floor.  
  
"What makes you think that," Daphne asked.  
  
"Because he's not here and Daddy is the only person who can frustrate Hannah," Vanessa said, "and she's obviously suffering from a classic case of frustration."  
  
"Okay, we only have room for one psychiatrist in the family," Daphne said, "and I prefer that it be your father. I have to have someone I can communicate with on my level, okay?"  
  
"Okay," Hannah and Vanessa said with a laugh.  
  
"Okay, I think I know what this is about and I'll get to right to the point," Vanessa said, "We want a dog."  
  
"I know that," Daphne said.  
  
"Daddy said he didn't think that getting a dog was a good idea," Hannah said.  
  
"When did he say that," Vanessa asked.  
  
"Earlier, when he picked me up from preschool," Hannah said, "I asked."  
  
"Well bloody hell," Vanessa said.  
  
"Okay, that's it," Daphne said rolling her eyes, "I don't want to hear either of you saying that again, got that?"  
  
"Okay," the girls said lowering their heads.  
  
"Girls, I know how much you want a puppy," Daphne said.  
  
"Do you know that we really, really, really, really want a puppy," Hannah said, "more than anything."  
  
"Yes I do," Daphne said.  
  
"Well," Vanessa asked.  
  
"Well what," Daphne said.  
  
"Are you going to get us one," Vanessa asked.  
  
"Listen, if it were up to me," Daphne said, "I would take you out and get you two a puppy this very moment.."  
  
"Let's go then," Vanessa said jumping up.  
  
"I'll get my coat," Hannah said climbing out of her mothers lap.  
  
"Wait just a minute," Daphne said laughing as she pulled them back down back down to the floor, "aren't we forgetting the whole reason for this discussion?"  
  
"Daddy," they said together.  
  
"That's right," Daphne said, "we have your father to think about."  
  
"He'll never let us get a puppy," Hannah said sadly.  
  
"Oh yes he will," Daphne said.  
  
"Really," they asked.  
  
"Just leave it to me," Daphne said, "I know how to handle your father. Give me a little time. I'm going to need it."  
  
"Okay," Vanessa said as their mother rose from the floor.  
  
"Okay," Daphne said, "I'm going to go get dinner started. Maybe I'll make your fathers favorite. You know to butter him up a little bit."  
  
"Okay," Hannah said as they watched their mother leave the room.  
  
"Hannie," Vanessa said getting up and closing the door, "we need a plan."  
  
"What do you mean," Hannah said.  
  
"Well," Vanessa began, "I think Mom can talk Daddy into it. All she has to do is kiss him like she does and tell him she loves him and he turns to Jell-O. I've known them for six years. That's how it works. But we need to have a back up just in case her way doesn't work."  
  
"What should we do," Hannah asked.  
  
"I saw this on TV once," Vanessa said getting up and walking to the door, "come on. Let's go to the playroom. We need some equipment."  
  
"Like what," Hannah said picking up Rocky's toys along the way and putting them back in their basket.  
  
"You're a clean freak, you know that," Vanessa said to her sister.  
  
"So," Hannah said.  
  
"So you're weird," Vanessa said as they walked into the playroom.  
  
"So are you," Hannah said.  
  
"Anyway," Vanessa said pulling out their box of markers and paper, "we need charts. Get the scissors. We have to make these really cool."  
  
"Why," Hannah said.  
  
"Because this is what people do when they are trying to sell an idea," Vanessa said, "I think."  
  
"If you only think then why are going to do this," Hannah asked gathering the materials.  
  
"Because we both want a puppy right," Vanessa asked.  
  
"Right," Hannah said.  
  
"Well this is how were going to convince Daddy that this is a good idea," Vanessa said, "Come on. Let's do this in my room. We can hide this stuff in my closet."  
  
"Vanessa, when are we going to make the presentation," Hannah asked.  
  
"I don't know," Vanessa said walking into her room, "I don't know how long it's going to take to make this stuff. Hey, do you have stickers?"  
  
"No, but Momma does," Hannah said turning on her heel.  
  
"No," Vanessa said, "This has to be top secret. We can't tell anyone."  
  
"Not even Momma," Hannah said, "I tell Momma everything."  
  
"I know," Vanessa said, "but you can't tell her this or we'll never get a puppy. You have to keep your mouth shut."  
  
"Oh do I have to," Hannah asked.  
  
"Do you want to do this or not," Vanessa said.  
  
"Yes," Hannah replied.  
  
"Then you can't tell Mom," Vanessa said, "besides she wants a dog too. This is for Daddy."  
  
"Okay," Hannah said, "what do I need to do then?"  
  
And Vanessa and Hannah began to build their case for a puppy.  
  
A couple of hours later, Niles arrived home. He found his wife putting the final touches on dinner. He walked up and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"Hey," Niles said.  
  
"Home already," Daphne asked.  
  
"Well I could always leave and come back," Niles said playfully.  
  
"Nah, that's okay," Daphne said kissing him, "we'll keep you."  
  
"Where are the girls," Niles asked.  
  
"Actually, they've been upstairs all afternoon," Daphne said, "They've been playing in and get this, Vanessa's closet."  
  
"And we spent how much on that playroom," Niles said.  
  
"Oh they've been in and out of there all afternoon," Daphne said handing him the dishes, "will you set the table for me."  
  
"Sure," Niles said as their daughters walked into the room, "there are my girls."  
  
"Hi Daddy," Vanessa said hugging him.  
  
"Father," Hannah said walking into the kitchen and hugging her mother.  
  
"Hannah," Niles asked, "is you still mad at me?"  
  
"No," Hannah said, "but you're still being difficult."  
  
"Can we call a truce long enough to have dinner," Daphne said as she and Vanessa set the food on the table, "please."  
  
"I'm game," Niles said, "Hannah?"  
  
"I suppose so," Hannah said.  
  
"Can I have my hug now," Niles asked extending his arms.  
  
"Yeah," Hannah said running into his arms.  
  
"That's much better," Daphne said sitting down at the table, "now who's hungry?"  
  
It took several days for Vanessa and Hannah to make their presentation. Both inheriting their father's fear of rejection, they kept putting off making their case. So when the topic was almost completely forgotten, they brought out the charts. They waited until their parents had settled down for the evening to watch their favorite TV show. Not long after Niles and Daphne tucked them in for the night, the girls scrambled out of bed and assembled their presentation. They tiptoed down the stairs to find their parents curled up on the couch kissing, something they always did after the girls were in bed.  
  
"Ewww," Hannah whispered, "why didn't you tell me they do that when we're not looking?"  
  
"Because you're always asleep when I sneak down to the kitchen," Vanessa said, "besides, I think it's cute. It's gross but it's cute."  
  
"Do they ever catch you," Hannah said, "You'd be in big trouble if they did."  
  
"Please," Vanessa said, "I'm part Moon. I can sneak around and never get caught. You know, kinda like how Mom always sneaks up on us?"  
  
"Oh yeah," Hannah said, "I'll have to try that sometime."  
  
"I wouldn't," Vanessa said, "you'd most definitely get caught."  
  
"Ummm, honey," Daphne said breaking their never ending kiss.  
  
"Oh why'd you stop," Niles said with a pout.  
  
"Do you get the feeling we're being watched," Daphne said lifting up her head and seeing their daughters standing on the stairs, "scratch that. We are being watched."  
  
"What," Niles said sitting up and turning his head, "oh."  
  
"Are you through yet," Vanessa said from the stairs, "cause we can wait until you are."  
  
"No you can't," Niles said under his breath.  
  
"Oh hush. We're not finished yet," Daphne said wickedly before turning her attention to the nosy little girls on the stairs, "girls what are you doing up? It's way past your bedtime."  
  
"We have something to talk to you about," Vanessa said walking towards her parents and turning back to get her little sister, "come on. You're not chickening out of this."  
  
"Who does that remind you of," Daphne said nudging her husband.  
  
"Oh leave me alone," Niles said.  
  
"Okay," Vanessa said directing her sister to the coffee table, "sit down Hannah. I'll do all the talking you just flip the cards."  
  
"Okay," Hannah said before whispering to her parents, "if we get in trouble, it was her idea."  
  
"We'll discuss that later," Niles said, "now what do you want to talk to us about."  
  
"First of all," Vanessa said, "Daddy, you have to be quiet until the presentation is over or there's no presentation. And there WILL be a presentation."  
  
"Just get on with it," Hannah said with a yawn.  
  
"Okay," Vanessa said pulling out her Tinkerbell wand pointer, "our presentation is called why we need a dog."  
  
"Oh not this again," Niles said leaning back against the cushions, "girls."  
  
"Niles, you promised you would hear them out," Daphne said resting her elbows on her knees, "Vanessa, please continue."  
  
"Okay, first card Hannie," Vanessa said, "age. Hannah is four and I'm six. We're practically women."  
  
"I." Niles started to say stifling a laugh.  
  
"Niles," Daphne said bopping him with a pillow, "knock it off."  
  
"As women, we're entitled to certain aspects of responsibility," Vanessa said, "which is why we're perfect candidates for a puppy. Next card please. The responsibilities. This is our promise to you as our parents to take care of everything. You wouldn't have to do a thing. We're your kids. A puppy would be ours."  
  
"You could spend more time together," Hannah said, "you wouldn't have to play with us anymore because we'd be too busy taking care of the puppy."  
  
"Hannah," Vanessa said, "This is my presentation. You're just supposed to sit there and hold the cards."  
  
"Is that all I am to you," Hannah said standing up, "a prop?"  
  
"Yes, now sit down," Vanessa said.  
  
"Vanessa," Niles said trying to fight back his laughter, "be nice to your sister."  
  
"Continuing on," Vanessa said, "next card. Seeing as we don't have jobs yet, the only thing you, as our parents, need to do, is provide us with some monetary contributions so we can purchase the necessary supplies to properly care for the puppy. Whether it be cash or you can even get us our own credit card if you want to."  
  
"Shopaholic," Hannah said under her breath.  
  
"And finally, studies show that having a pet drops your blood pressure," Vanessa said, "and cuts back on the amount of stress one can suffer from."  
  
"That's really good," Hannah said, "where did you hear that?"  
  
"Television," Vanessa whispered, "Smart huh?"  
  
"Yep," Hannah said.  
  
"Okay, last card Hannah," Vanessa said, "This is our contract. We have already signed it. Basically this is our promise to you that we will take care of this puppy and not let what happened to Eddie the goldfish happen to the puppy."  
  
"We promise," the girls said together.  
  
"Oh wait," Hannah said flipping over the last card that reads in big colorful letters, "can we get a puppy?"  
  
"Please," the girls said together.  
  
"We'll think about it," Daphne said standing up, "now I want both of you to march right back up those stairs and get into bed."  
  
"Daddy, please, think about it," Hannah called over her shoulder.  
  
"Hey," Daphne said whispering to her daughters as they climbed the stairs, "are you two crazy? I told you to let me handle your daddy but I need some time."  
  
"But Mom," Vanessa whined.  
  
"No buts," Daphne said.  
  
"I'm going to bed," Hannah said tugging on her mother's sleeve.  
  
"Good night princess," Daphne said kissing her forehead before watching her disappear into her room and then turning to Vanessa, "okay young lady. Let's get you into bed. I don't know why, I have to put you to bed and not your little sister."  
  
"No offense Mom," Vanessa said bringing back up the topic at hand, "but your plan is taking too long. We want a puppy now."  
  
"I know," Daphne said scooping up Vanessa in her arms and carrying her into her room, "but you know how stubborn your father is. I need a little time to work my magic on him. It has always worked before, hasn't it?"  
  
"Yeah," Vanessa said as her mother playfully dropped her onto her bed.  
  
"Okay then," Daphne said pulling the covers up to her daughters chin, "now you go to sleep. And don't let me catch you up and wondering about. Don't think I don't know you sneak downstairs to the kitchen at night."  
  
"I'm busted aren't I," Vanessa said.  
  
"Big time," Daphne said kissing her forehead, "go to sleep."  
  
"Good night Vanessa," Niles said peaking into the room.  
  
"Night Daddy," Vanessa said, "Momma?"  
  
"Oh now you call me Momma," Daphne said turning around, "what is it munchkin?"  
  
"Knock 'em dead," Vanessa said.  
  
"I'll do my best," Daphne said flipping off the light, "good night Vanessa."  
  
"Night Mom," Vanessa said snuggling under the covers.  
  
"Come on," Niles said pulling Daphne out of Vanessa's room and into theirs, "we need to talk."  
  
"But what about," Daphne said looking back toward the stairs.  
  
"Lights are off and we're locked in," Niles said shutting their door behind them.  
  
"What's wrong," Daphne asked.  
  
"Was that little presentation your idea," Niles said.  
  
"Of course not," Daphne said sitting on their bed, "I had no idea they were going to do that. I may know our daughters pretty well, but they are still capable of pulling one over on me."  
  
"Do you promise," Niles said sitting next to her.  
  
"Honey, I swear, I had no idea," Daphne said, "but this is probably what they were hiding from us in Vanessa's closet."  
  
"True," Niles said laying back on the mattress.  
  
"Honey, they do pose a good argument," Daphne said standing up and walking over to the dresser, "they are women you know."  
  
"No they're not. They're little girls," Niles said, "they're my little girls and they're trying to bribe me."  
  
"Niles, don't get mad," Daphne said pulling a nightgown out of the drawer, "but I think we should get a puppy too."  
  
"Oh my god," Niles said propping himself up on his elbows, "they've brainwashed you."  
  
"No they haven't," Daphne said, "but they're mopiness is starting to bother me. Vanessa and Hannah are usually balls of energy, but since we took Rocky back to your fathers, we've got two very sad little girls moping around the house."  
  
"They're just suffering from separation anxiety," Niles said as his wife walked into the bathroom, "it'll pass."  
  
"Niles, stop being a psychiatrist for ten seconds and be the father that you are," Daphne called, "remember when Alice spent that week with us while Roz went on that cruise? Alice went back home and the girls didn't go into a depression because of her leaving. Honey there is more to it than just wanting a puppy. A puppy completes our family, our home."  
  
"How can that possibly complete our family," Niles asked getting up and walking to the bathroom door.  
  
"Because it just does," Daphne said, "even the Brady bunch had a dog. Why can't we?"  
  
"Because I don't want a dog," Niles said as Daphne emerged wearing his favorite silk nightgown.  
  
"Give me one good reason why," Daphne said as she began to kiss his neck.  
  
"Dogs drink out of the toilet," Niles said.  
  
"So," Daphne said as she continued to seduce her husband, "our bathroom is the only bathroom in the house that you use and you keep the door closed half the time. A dog wouldn't drink out of this one."  
  
"That's besides the point," Niles said growing weak at the knees.  
  
"And what's the point," Daphne asked guiding him toward the bed.  
  
"Can I get back to you on that," Niles said as they fell together onto the bed kissing passionately.  
  
  
  
The next day, Niles ran frantically into Café Nervosa looking for his big brother.  
  
"Oh Frasier," Niles said trying to catch his breath, "I'm in BIG trouble."  
  
"Well hello to you too Niles," Frasier said.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Niles said, "can we get back to me and my problem?"  
  
"Dear god man," Frasier said, "pull yourself together."  
  
"I'm trying," Niles said.  
  
"What's wrong," Frasier asked as a waiter approached the table, "Niles do you want anything?"  
  
"Whatever you're having," Niles said.  
  
"Another latte please," Frasier said as Niles breathing finally returned to normal.  
  
"Frasier, I'm in such major trouble," Niles said, "The girls want a puppy."  
  
"Oh dear lord," Frasier said, "what are you going to do?"  
  
"I have no idea," Niles said, "to make things worse, they've already hooked Daphne onto the idea."  
  
"You are in trouble," Frasier said.  
  
"I told you," Niles said, "Frasier, I'll tell you. I thought sharing a house with the three most beautiful women in the world was the best gift life had ever given me. But turn your back for one minute and I swear they band together and corner you."  
  
"What are they doing," Frasier asked.  
  
"Last night," Niles began, "Daphne and I were enjoying a little time to ourselves and the girls came downstairs complete with an illustrated presentation on the benefits of bringing a dog into our home."  
  
"So that's why Vanessa called asking for some 50cent words for money," Frasier chuckled.  
  
"Oh my god," Niles said with wide eyes, "so that's where monetary contribution came from. YOU!"  
  
"Keep going Niles," Frasier said changing the subject.  
  
"Okay, that was the biggest thing they have done so far," Niles said as the waiter returned with his coffee, "thanks. The other day, I picked up Hannah from preschool like I always do and we got into an argument about it. Which was a lost cause because it's like arguing with ourselves."  
  
"She is just like you Niles," Frasier said nodding in agreement.  
  
"I know. Worst of all is Daphne," Niles said, "last night.last night she tried to seduce me into getting a puppy for the girls."  
  
"You're kidding," Frasier said sarcastically, "that wouldn't be the first time she's done something like that."  
  
"Very funny," Niles said, "Frasier help me out here. What am I going to do?"  
  
"Put your foot down," Frasier said.  
  
"I've tried that," Niles said, "it's not easy when you have three women on the other side of the argument. It makes me wish Daphne and I would have one more baby that's a boy so I wouldn't have to suffer through the torture alone."  
  
"If you two did have a baby boy, it would probably turn out to be a sports freak like Dad and you'll wish you had another little girl," Frasier said.  
  
"Frasier, you're really not helping," Niles said dropping his head into his hands, "I'm doomed."  
  
"Yes sir, I'm afraid you are," Frasier said with a laugh as he picked up his cup.  
  
  
  
"Hi Roz," Daphne said into the phone.  
  
"Hey Daph," Roz said, "how are things?"  
  
"Things are good," Daphne said piddling in the kitchen, "I'm just killing time. I'm picking Niles up for lunch. Hannah is going to a friends house after preschool today so he's all mine for a few hours."  
  
"OOOh, Mommy and Daddy time," Roz said playfully.  
  
"It would be if I wasn't using this opportunity to persuade my husband into getting a puppy for the girls," Daphne said.  
  
"What," Roz asked.  
  
"Ever since the girls babysat Martin's little mutt," Daphne said, "they've become quite intent on getting a puppy. They made presentation for us complete with posters and everything. Hannah and Niles got into a fight, a pointless fight."  
  
"How do they even manage to fight," Roz asked.  
  
"Your guess is as good as mine, but they do," Daphne said with a laugh, "its very cute really. They get so flustered because they never get anywhere when they do. Someone should come out with a book about arguing with your four year old."  
  
"How do you feel about getting a dog," Roz asked.  
  
"I'm all for it actually," Daphne said, "Like I told Niles, a puppy would make our house a home. It would complete our family, if that makes sense."  
  
"It does actually," Roz said, "why do you think I got one?"  
  
"To attract men," Daphne said with a laugh, "which is something I don't even have to worry about because I attracted my man the minute I walked into his life."  
  
"So how do you plan to win Niles over," Roz said.  
  
"Well, I've tried sweet talking him," Daphne began, "then I seduced him, which usually works. But once we got started I forgot about my motive completely. He has that much of an effect on me. He has a way of making everything disappear but him."  
  
"Daphne, you really have to give that up," Roz said stopping her before she went into major details."  
  
"I'm never giving up making love with Niles," Daphne said, "that's become quite an addiction for me."  
  
"That's not what I meant," Roz said with a laugh, "I mean you've got to stop trying to cave him with seduction. I would think by now it's useless."  
  
"Thank you Roz. I'll have you know it's often a two way street," Daphne said, "but you're right. Today I'm going to drag him down to the Humane Society while we're out."  
  
"And just how do you plan on getting him there," Roz asked.  
  
"I'm driving so he can't do anything about that," Daphne said, "and then I'll drag him in there. He'll kick and scream all the way, but he's going in there."  
  
"Well good luck Daph," Roz said, "you've got your work cut out for you."  
  
"I know," Daphne said, "I'm going to need a vacation after this. It's hard being the mediator between my husband and our children."  
  
"Oh yeah Daph," Roz said jokingly, "If I were you, I would go on that vacation and think twice about coming home."  
  
"Nah," Daphne said, "I'll gladly come back.when things have gotten back to normal."  
  
"Let me know how things go," Roz said.  
  
"I sure will," Daphne said, "I'll call you tonight."  
  
"Okay," Roz said, "have fun."  
  
"Bye," Daphne said hanging up the phone and picking up her car keys, "well here goes nothing."  
  
  
  
"Hi Mrs. Woodson," Daphne said walking into Niles' office.  
  
"Mrs. Crane," she said looking up, "how are you?"  
  
"I'm wonderful, you," Daphne asked.  
  
"Can't complain," Mrs. Woodson said, "you can go on in. His patient just left."  
  
"Great," Daphne said walking into Niles office to find him working on the computer, "my husband fooling with a computer. Now that's a sight."  
  
"Hi there," Niles said looking up with a smile, "I didn't hear you come in."  
  
"I'll have to work on my entrance then for next time," Daphne said walking to the front of his desk, "how does a marching band sound?"  
  
"Nah, just you," Niles said standing up and leaning over his desk to kiss her.  
  
"Are you ready," Daphne asked breaking the kiss, "we have reservations."  
  
"I didn't think McDonalds or Pizza Hut took reservations," Niles said jokingly as he grabbed his coat.  
  
"Believe it or not doctor, we're going to a nice restaurant for once," Daphne said, "one without crayons and coloring menus."  
  
"Wonderful," Niles said, "wait they have those?"  
  
"We used to go to them all the time," Daphne said taking his hand and pulling them out of the office, "remember?"  
  
"Vaguely," Niles said, "Mrs. Woodson, I'll be back in a few hours."  
  
"All right, have a lovely time," she replied.  
  
"We will thanks," Niles said as they stepped onto the elevator.  
  
"I have an errand I have to run before we go to the restaurant," Daphne said wrapping her arms around him, "I hope that's all right."  
  
"No problem," Niles said, "so what do you have planned for this afternoon. After lunch I mean."  
  
"I don't know. I can't remember the last time I had the house to myself," Daphne said laying her head on his shoulder, "I may take a nice bubble bath or something."  
  
"Um, you can't do that," Niles said as the elevator arrived at the lobby.  
  
"Why not," Daphne asked slipping a hand in his as they left the elevator.  
  
"Because I simply can't let you take one alone," Niles said kissing her hand, "it's just not right."  
  
"Ah," Daphne said, "good point."  
  
"See just the thought of it makes it sound lonely doesn't it," Niles said as they approached her car.  
  
"Yes it does," Daphne said, "get in the car Dr. Crane."  
  
Once inside the car, Daphne leaned over to kiss him deeply.  
  
"What was that for," Niles said as she started the car.  
  
"All of the sudden I need a reason to kiss you," Daphne said driving off, "there was a time when you told me I could do that, whenever and wherever I wanted to."  
  
"You can," Niles said, "you just surprised me that's all."  
  
"Just remember I love you," Daphne said focusing on the road.  
  
"I love you too," Niles said, "wait a minute.where are we going?"  
  
"What do you mean," Daphne asked.  
  
"Well all of the restaurants are back in the city," Niles said as his wife continued to drive in the opposite direction.  
  
"I told you I had an errand to run first," Daphne said turning onto a road.  
  
"You didn't say it was away from the city," Niles said.  
  
"Oh hush," Daphne said, "our house is outside the city. Now I have something I have to do, and I need your help. We're almost there anyway. It's not far."  
  
"Daphne I don't.," Niles said as she pulled up to the Humane Society, "what are you doing?"  
  
"What do you think I'm doing," Daphne said pulling into a parking space.  
  
"Absolutely not," Niles said, "I'm not going in there."  
  
"Yes you are," Daphne said slamming her door and walking around to the other side, "if you're going to act like a child about this, I'm going to treat you like a child about this."  
  
"But Daphne I'm going to smell like, like," Niles said as she opened his door, "dogs."  
  
"Niles," Daphne said reaching in an unbuckling his seatbelt, "we're just going to look at these dogs."  
  
"Daphne I don't want to," Niles said.  
  
"Tough," she said taking his hands and pulling him out of the car, "you're going in there. And if you're worried about the smell, we've got plenty of time to go home, take a shower and change before you have to go back to the office."  
  
"No," Niles said buckling his knees and standing firm.  
  
"Honey, it's okay. I won't let them hurt you," Daphne said trying to pull him toward the door.  
  
"Please don't make me do this," Niles said trying to run back to the car.  
  
"No you're not, come on," Daphne said pulling him back towards the building, "think about our girls. A puppy would make them so happy. And it's not like we're going to walk in there and come out with a puppy. We're just looking."  
  
"You.I.this is not fair," Niles said as his wife pushed him through the door.  
  
****  
  
"Oh honey, I know. But we're here now, and we're going to look at these puppies," Daphne said walking up to the counter, "Hi, I'm Daphne Crane, I called earlier about looking at some puppies."  
  
"Oh yes Mrs. Crane," the young man said, "Right this way.  I'll show you to them and let you look. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask."  
  
"Thank you," Daphne said as they walked along the kennels.  
  
Niles hesitated a bit before walking along side of Daphne.  
  
"Sweetie, they're just dogs," Daphne said entwining her fingers with his, "it's okay."  
  
"Loud and smelly," Niles said searching for his handkerchief, "I told you."  
  
"Put that away," Daphne said taking the handkerchief away from his nose and back into his breast pocket, "don't act like a snob."  
  
"But I am," Niles pleaded.  
  
"Today you are a daddy looking for a puppy for your kids," Daphne said, "and you're a lucky one at that because I'm here too."  
  
"Daphne the stench is unbearable," Niles said as she stopped in front of a cage of small puppies.  
  
"Niles, behave," she said stooping down to look at the puppies, "aren't they adorable?"  
  
"They all look the same to me," Niles said looking around at the barking dogs.  
  
"If you keep that up, you're sleeping on the couch tonight," Daphne said standing up and meeting the horrified look on his face.  
  
"You wouldn't," Niles said.  
  
"Of course not, " Daphne said, "but if you don't stop complaining, the threats will keep coming."  
  
They continued walking down the row of kennels looking at puppy after puppy.  They finally came up to a kennel with a wrinkly puppy curled up in the corner.  
  
"Oh look at this one," Daphne said, "the poor thing.  He looks so sad."  
  
"Well wouldn't you be," Niles said looking at her, "seriously, if you were locked up in a crummy place like this and no body to love you?"  
  
"Oh my god, are these puppies finally getting to you," Daphne asked.  
  
"No, I've been through this myself," Niles said, "the Shangri La?"  
  
"And then I adopted you," Daphne said stooping down to see the puppy.  
  
"No, actually you waited three years before adopting me," Niles said.  
  
"Well that's all the more reason we need to rescue one of these puppies," Daphne said as the little puppy made it's way over to her, "hi there little one."  
  
"That's a pure bred Shar Pei," Niles said as the brown wrinkled puppy sat down in front of his wife, "they're actually quite rare. I wonder what it's doing here."  
  
"A sudden interest, this is good," Daphne said looking up at him with a smile.  
  
"That's Picasso," the attendant said, "we just got him yesterday.  The poor thing has so many allergies; his first owner couldn't handle them all. She only had him two days before she dropped him off here.  Would you like to hold him?"  
  
"We'd love it," Daphne said standing back as the attendant opened the gate, "Picasso, that's a very you sounding name honey."  
  
"Yeah," Niles said sarcastically.  
  
"Here ya go," the attendant said handing the puppy to Daphne.  
  
"Oh my goodness," Daphne said as the puppy looked up at her, "aren't you a doll?  Let me ask you, what's their temperament?"  
  
"They are family dogs from what I understand," the attendant said, "this is the first one we've ever had here that's a pure bred Shar Pei.  These little guys usually go to other breeders or breed rescue programs."  
  
"Are they good with children," Daphne asked scratching the puppy's ear, "we have two young daughters."  
  
"If you get them young, they're great with children," the attendant said, "but I recommend only having one of them.  If you have more than one they tend to fight on occasion. They're a fighting breed."  
  
"Here honey, you hold him," Daphne said handing him the puppy.  
  
"Honey I don't think." Niles tried to say as the puppy started to kiss his chin, "doggie drool. Doggie drool."  
  
"You're fine.  I have a couple more questions about this little guy," Daphne said turning to the attendant, "you said he has allergies?"  
  
"Yes, several skin allergies," the attendant said, "very common with the breed actually but manageable."  
  
"My husband and our youngest daughter are allergic to everything," Daphne said, "nothing we couldn't handle.  Is he house broken?"  
  
"Actually he is.  It's something they pick up from their mother," the attendant said, "we have to walk this little guy.  He won't go in his kennel.  He's a bit of a clean freak."  
  
"That's good to hear," Daphne said.  
  
"Daphne," Niles said as the puppy tried to hide in his jacket, "help me.  I don't know what he's doing."  
  
"He likes you sweetie," Daphne said taking the puppy from him, "have you had many people interested in him?"  
  
"Nope, the allergies tend to scare people off," the attendant said, "but when word gets out we have a pure bred Shar Pei puppy, you never know."  
  
"I think I'd like to bring the girls by to see him," Daphne said, "Niles, what do you think?"  
  
"What," Niles said frantically brushing the dog hair off of his Armani.  
  
"Oh never mind," Daphne said handing the puppy back to the attendant, "do you think he will be here tomorrow?"  
  
"Well, due to the allergies I would think so," the attendant said putting the puppy back in the kennel, "but puppies tend to go quickly around here I'm afraid."  
  
"I need a little time to convince my husband," Daphne whispered as Niles watched the puppy, "can you give me 24 hours to make a decision?"  
  
"I sure can try," the attendant whispered back.  
  
"You sure are cute," Niles said suddenly.  
  
"What was that," Daphne asked with a smile.  
  
"Nothing," Niles said, "nothing at all."  
  
"Yeah right," Daphne said turning to the attendant, "thank you very much for your time.  I'll be in touch."  
  
"Great," the attendant said walking away.  
  
"Come on Dr. Crane," Daphne said taking his wrist and looking at his watch, "let's get you home and into the shower."  
  
"Thank you," Niles said stepping outside and shaking almost like a wet dog.  
  
"So, what did you think of that little Picasso," Daphne asked as they got in the car.  
  
"He was.," Niles said hesitantly, "nice."  
  
"He took quite a shine to you," Daphne said, "and you know what my dear husband? I think you liked him."  
  
"I most certainly did not," Niles said, "the dog drooled on me."  
  
"So," Daphne asked, "I do."  
  
"No, you drool over me," Niles said, "there's a BIG difference."  
  
"Niles, I'm serious," Daphne said looking between him and the road, "what do you think?"  
  
"I don't know," Niles said, "can I have some time to mull it over?"  
  
"You've had long enough, but I love you so I'll be nice and give you a little more time," Daphne said.  
  
"Thank you," Niles said looking out the window.  
  
Niles returned to work where the thought of the lonely little puppy never left his mind.  That night at home he was unusually quiet and kept to himself.   
  
"Momma, what's wrong with him," Hannah asked watching her father disappear into his study, "is he mad at us?"  
  
"Of course not, sweetie. He's just deep in thought," Daphne said with a smile, "I think I have finally struck a nerve with your father."  
  
"You mean we might be getting a puppy," Vanessa asked excitedly.  
  
"I can tell you that you are a lot closer to getting one than you were when you started this whole campaign," Daphne said brushing her daughters hair off her face and tucking hit behind her ear.  
  
"What did you do to him," Vanessa asked.  
  
"I'll never tell," Daphne said looking back toward the study.  
  
The next day, Niles did something even he didn't think he would do.  He couldn't get that poor little puppy out of his mind and on his lunch break he called the Humane Society to check on the status of the puppy.   
  
"Seattle Humane Society," the attendant said into the phone.  
  
"Um hello. This is Dr. Niles Crane," Niles stuttered, "my wife, Daphne, and I were in yesterday to look at the puppies."  
  
"Oh yes Dr. Crane, you two took quite a shine to the Shar Pei," the attendant said.  
  
"Um yes that's right.  I was, well, I was wondering if the puppy was still available," Niles said tugging at his tie.  
  
"Yes he certainly is," the attendant said.  
  
"Can I ask you a few more questions about him," Niles asked looking adjusting the picture of his daughters on his desk.  
  
"Sure," the attendant said.  
  
"What can we expect from this breed," Niles said, "in terms of behavior and cleanliness and so forth?"  
  
"Well like I said, this dog is rare.  It almost became extinct in the 70's but has made an incredible come back.  They are family dogs, they don't like strangers.  They're very emotional dogs," the attendant said, "Can be a bit nervous.  Incredibly clean.  Lazy little guys though.  They sleep all the time.  About the shyness, if they're handled a lot by people other than the family, they can usually overcome the shyness.  My advice is to get him involved in a dog park or something where other dogs are around.  You just have to watch him around other Shar Peis.  They're natural fighting instinct might appear."  
  
"I see," Niles said, "and you said they're good with children."  
  
"Oh yeah, very loveable," the attendant said, "they do get a wild streak in them though."  
  
"What does that mean," Niles asked.  
  
"Well this little guy gets a rush of energy after he wakes up," the attendant said, "you can almost see him smiling when he plays with his toys."  
  
"I'm going to hate myself for giving in to them, because I really don't want a dog but could you possibly hold the dog for me," Niles blurted out, "I think I'd like to adopt him."  
  
"Really," the attendant said, "even with the allergies?"  
  
"My daughter and I have more allergies than we know what do with," Niles said, "if my family can handle ours, I'm sure they can handle his."  
  
"Wow, this is great," the attendant said.  
  
"Oh don't sound so enthused," Niles said, "This is going to be a nightmare."  
  
"But a pleasant one," the attendant said, "When should I expect you?"  
  
"Around 2," Niles said, "I get off of work a little early today.  The girls will be home by then."  
  
"Great, we'll have all of his things together for you," the attendant said.  
  
"Fabulous," Niles said sarcastically, "could you do me a favor?  I think my wife might be calling to check on the status of the puppy and might want to bring our children down to see him.  Could you just tell her he's been adopted?  But don't mention by who because I know she'll try to ask."  
  
"Sure thing," the attendant said, "this is a very good thing Dr. Crane.  I know this dog is going to a good home."  
  
"Thanks, I'll see you at 2," Niles said hanging up the phone and dropping his head in his hands, "oh I need a drink."  
  
Much to his chagrin, Niles rather enjoyed the ride home with the puppy.  He drove around the neighborhood just to work up the nerve to bring the dog in the house.   He was also laying down the ground rules for the happy puppy.  
  
"First of all Picasso," Niles said, "My closet and my bathroom are off limits.  The toilet is most certainly not for drinking.  I don't want you digging in my garden or eating the plants I have in the house.  No barking at all hours of the night, no table scraps.  And most importantly, Daphne is MY wife.  I think that about covers it. "  
  
Niles looked over at the puppy that seemed to be smiling at him.  He pulled into the driveway, took a deep breath and stepped out of the car hiding the puppy in his trench coat.  Niles walked into the house just as Daphne got off the phone with the Humane Society.  
  
"Okay well thank you," Daphne said hanging up the phone, "bloody hell."  
  
"What's wrong," Niles said standing in the doorway.  
  
"That puppy has been adopted," She said turning to face him.  
  
"I know," Niles said quietly.  
  
"If I could just get my hands on the moron that adopted that dog, I'd give him a nice British pounding," Daphne said, "that should be our puppy. He belongs in our home."  
  
"I know," Niles said again.  
  
"I was going to take the girls down there," Daphne started to say, "wait a minute. How do you know?"  
  
"Because I.well.I," Niles said opening his trench coat and revealing the puppy, "I'm the moron you're after."  
  
"Oh my god," Daphne said as he held the puppy, "Niles."  
  
"I know," Niles said, "I don't know what made me do it.  I could kick myself for going against myself like this. Wait, that doesn't make any sense."  
  
"Oh Niles," Daphne said interrupting him with a kiss, "I can't believe you did this.  I'm so proud of you."  
  
"You called me a moron," Niles said, "you said you would give me a British pounding."  
  
"Oh honey.  I didn't know that you were the one who adopted him," Daphne said scratching the puppy's ears, "hello Picasso. When I called they wouldn't tell me anything other than that he had been adopted."  
  
"I know," Niles said, "I told them not to say anything. I knew you would call them at some point."  
  
"Thank you for doing this," Daphne said, "I love you so much."  
  
"I love you too," Niles said, "where are the girls?"  
  
"Outside," Daphne said.  
  
"Okay then," Niles said heading downstairs to the game room, "come on."  
  
"What are you doing," Daphne asked following him down the stairs.  
  
"I'm not about to let him walk down the deck stairs," Niles said, "He's just a baby."  
  
"Oh my god, I knew it," Daphne said as they approached the door to the patio, "I knew if I took you there you would cave.  Oh I am so good."  
  
"You're great. At other things," Niles said kissing her cheek as he opened the door.  
  
"Niles," Daphne said, "the girls might hear you."  
  
"They're not even paying attention.  Look at them," Niles said pointing to the girls, "they're up to something."  
  
"Quick, put the puppy outside," Daphne said, "before they come up with something and come inside."  
  
Vanessa and Hannah were discussing what to do next and didn't see their parents at the door.  
  
"Hannie, we need a new plan. Ours didn't work and Mom is taking too long," Vanessa said kicking her legs so she would swing higher.  
  
"What should we do," Hannah asked her big sister.  
  
"I don't know, maybe Grandpa can help us," Vanessa said as her sister turned her attention to something moving in the yard.  
  
"What's that," Hannah said pointing to the moving object.  
  
"What's what," Vanessa asked looking up.  
  
"Is that a rabbit," Hannah asked.  
  
"How is a rabbit supposed to get into our backyard," Vanessa said, "It's probably just one of Rocky's toys."  
  
"It's moving," Hannah said getting of the swing.  
  
"What is that," Vanessa said suddenly curious.  
  
"Vanessa, it's a puppy," Hannah said walking over to the happy puppy wagging his curly tail.  
  
"Oh wow," Vanessa said dropping to her knees, "hello puppy."  
  
"Where did he come from," Hannah said joining her sister in the grass.  
  
Niles and Daphne watched as their ecstatic children played with the puppy.  
  
"Look how happy they are," Daphne said resting her chin on his shoulder, "I haven't seen them smile like that since Rocky left."  
  
"Yeah," Niles said simply.  
  
"Are you all right," Daphne asked.  
  
"We have a dog," Niles said.  
  
"Yes we do," Daphne said, "and you've just made our children the two happiest little girls on the planet today.  Doesn't that make you feel good?"  
  
"Yes of course," Niles said, "but Daphne we have a dog."  
  
"You said that already," Daphne said taking his hand and walking out into the yard, "come on."  
  
"Momma, you got us a dog," Hannah said running into her arms.  
  
"Actually it wasn't me," Daphne said smiling up at Niles, "your Daddy got him."  
  
"Yeah right," Vanessa said as the puppy kissed her face.  
  
"He did, I promise," Daphne said, "I had nothing to do with it."  
  
"Really," Hannah said looking up to her father.  
  
"I did," Niles said, "surprised?"  
  
"Oh Daddy," Hannah said running into his arms, "I can't believe you did this. I'm so proud of you."  
  
"Vanessa," Niles asked with a question in his voice.  
  
"You really got us a puppy," Vanessa asked, "and this isn't some sort of joke?  He's not going back tomorrow."  
  
"I promise," Niles said.  
  
"Way to go Dad," Vanessa said running into his arms and knocking him over, "thank you, thank you, thank you."  
  
"Come on my family, let's get this little guy inside," Daphne said picking up the puppy.  
  
"We have to go shopping," Vanessa said, "We're going to need some equipment."  
  
"Hold on there," Niles said as he carried his daughters up the deck stairs, "already taken care of."  
  
"You went shopping without me," Vanessa asked squirming out of his arms, "Daddy how could you?"  
  
"If I had taken you with me young lady, then the puppy wouldn't have been a surprise," Niles said, "now would it?"  
  
"I guess not," Vanessa said.  
  
"And this was a great surprise," Daphne said setting the puppy on the floor, "right?"  
  
"Right," Hannah said sitting down on the floor with the puppy, "Daddy, does he have a name?"  
  
"Picasso," Niles said.  
  
"That's a very Daddy sounding name," Vanessa said looking at her mother.  
  
  
  
"It is, isn't it," Daphne said wrapping her arms around her husband.  
  
"Girls, you need to know that Picasso has lots of allergies," Niles said.  
  
"So," Hannah said, "so do you and so do I."  
  
"Okay then, never mind," Niles said, "but we have to set some ground rules with the puppy okay?"  
  
"Okay," the girls said as the puppy ran back and forth between them.  
  
"You have to always make sure he has food and water," Niles said, "keep him away from my plants and my bathroom. And just because we have a dog now, doesn't mean you can blame him if you break something. Got it?"  
  
"Yes," they said.  
  
"Girls, why don't you take the puppy into the den," Daphne said, "I need to talk to your daddy."  
  
"Okay," Hannah said picking up the puppy, "man you're heavy."  
  
"It must be the wrinkles," Vanessa said, "you do know that he gets to sleep in my room, don't you?"  
  
"Why," Hannah asked.  
  
"Because I'm the oldest," Vanessa said.  
  
"So," Hannah said as they disappeared into the den.  
  
"Niles," Daphne said once the girls were out of the room, "thank you so much for this."  
  
"Daphne," Niles said starting to hyperventilate, "we have a dog."  
  
"I know," Daphne said, "Honey calm down."  
  
"I.can't.help.it," Niles said struggling to catch his breath, "we.have.a.dog."  
  
"And two very happy little girls," Daphne said rubbing his back, "things will finally get back to normal around here."  
  
"A.dog.in.my.house," Niles said, "What.am.I.going.to.do?"  
  
"Oh knock it off," Daphne said fetching a bottle of water out of the fridge and handing it to him, "you did a good thing. The girls are going to gush all over you now."  
  
"I guess I didn't think of it like that," Niles said catching his breath.  
  
"And you'll be getting a special treat tonight from their mother, I'll give you a nice British pounding a la Daphne," Daphne said kissing him.  
  
"If you insist," Niles said.  
  
Later that evening, the Crane family continued to play with their new puppy.  
  
"Daddy, is he going to have all of these wrinkles forever," Hannah asked as she counted the wrinkles on the puppy's back.  
  
"Honey I don't know," Niles said as his wife returned from the kitchen with two cups of tea, "tomorrow, we'll call your grandpa and ask him where the pet store he goes to is and make trip down there. We'll get a book about Shar Peis and whatever else we need."  
  
"We're going shopping," Vanessa said, "I'll be ready at 7."  
  
"I can tell you right now, that won't be happening," Daphne said joining Niles on the couch and relaxing in his arms, "I'm not getting up at 7 on a Saturday morning and I can promise your sister won't be getting up that early either."  
  
"We'll just have to go without you," Vanessa said, "right Dad?"  
  
"No you won't," Hannah said, "I want to go too."  
  
"Girls, most of the civilized world is not awake at seven o'clock on a Saturday morning," Niles said lacing his fingers through his wife's hair, "the stores don't open until 9 anyway."  
  
"Bloody." Vanessa started to say.  
  
"Hey, what did I say about that word," Daphne said cutting her daughter off.  
  
"Oops," Vanessa said, "sorry."  
  
"Thank you," Daphne said, "now why don't you two go put on your pj's?"  
  
"Okay," Hannah said getting up and walking to the stairs.  
  
"But Mom it's Friday," Vanessa said as the puppy kissed her face.  
  
"I know, you don't have to go to bed," Daphne said, "just put on your pajamas."  
  
"Oh all right," Vanessa said putting down the puppy, "I'll be back Picasso."  
  
"She's a riot," Daphne said picking up the puppy and curling up next to her husband, "I wonder where she gets it."  
  
"Not from me," Niles said scratching the puppy's ears, "that leaves only one other person."  
  
"Yes, she's stubborn like your father," Daphne said.  
  
"I meant you," Niles said leaning over to kiss her cheek.  
  
"I know," Daphne said, "one doesn't like to admit they can be stubborn. You sure don't."  
  
"I am not," Niles said.  
  
"Yes you are," Daphne said with a laugh, "both you and Hannah have some sort of unexplainable stubbornness."  
  
"She certainly is my shadow," Niles said as the phone began to ring.  
  
"I got it," Vanessa said jumping down the last two stairs and racing Hannah to the phone, "Hello?.Hi Uncle Frasier.I'm fine.Yes he's here. He's playing with Picasso.Uncle Frasier?.Hello?.He hung up."  
  
"Oh well, it must not have been that important," Niles said as Hannah climbed in his lap.  
  
"Daddy, does Picasso have to take medicine for his allergies like we do," Hannah asked when the puppy started hopping back and forth between Daphne and Niles.  
  
"Yes," Niles said, "but you know how we allergy proof the house for us?"  
  
"Yeah," Hannah said.  
  
"Well he might not have that many problems in the long run," Niles said tickling his daughter, "we don't do we?"  
  
"Nope," Hannah said giggling.  
  
"Where's he going to sleep," Vanessa asked.  
  
"Oh that's right," Daphne said, "honey, we didn't think of that."  
  
"I have an idea," Vanessa said, "Hannie and I can set up a tent in my room and sleep on the floor in sleeping bags."  
  
"Cool," Hannah said, "but why can't it be in my room?"  
  
"Because I'm the oldest," Vanessa said resting her elbows on the coffee table.  
  
"Are you going to tell me that forever," Hannah asked.  
  
"Yep," Vanessa said.  
  
"Momma is that fair," Hannah asked.  
  
"Honey, I don't really know," Daphne said, "I'm the baby of my family."  
  
"Daddy," Hannah asked.  
  
"Do you even have to ask," Niles said, "your Uncle always used that excuse on me."  
  
"It's legitimate," Vanessa said, "and it's the truth."  
  
"Is their level of vocabulary normal for their age," Daphne asked her husband.  
  
"I think so. They are half mine," Niles said.  
  
"Daddy." Hannah said as Frasier burst through the front door running from room to room.  
  
"Where is it," Frasier said frantically.  
  
"Hello to you too," Daphne said rolling her eyes, "ever heard of knocking?"  
  
"Frasier, what are you doing," Niles said as his brother ran up and down the stairs and back to the study.  
  
"Where is it," Frasier said as he continued to run through the house.  
  
"What's wrong with him," Hannah asked.  
  
"I don't know," Niles said as Frasier skidded to a halt in the den.  
  
"Where is it," Frasier asked.  
  
"Where's what," Niles asked.  
  
"Picasso," Frasier said catching his breath, "Vanessa said you had a Picasso."  
  
"Oh my god," Daphne said as she laughed.  
  
"Frasier, I think you misunderstood," Niles said laughing.  
  
"I don't believe I did," Frasier said, "I distinctly heard her say Picasso."  
  
"This is Picasso Uncle Frasier," Hannah said showing him the puppy.  
  
"Excuse me," Frasier said.  
  
"Frasier, this is Picasso," Niles said.  
  
"But that's a dog," Frasier said.  
  
"Yes it most certainly is," Daphne said, "aren't you as sharp as a tack this evening?"  
  
"You mean to tell me, I nearly broke the sound barrier for a DOG," Frasier asked.  
  
"Looks like it," Niles said.  
  
"What's the sound barrier," Vanessa asked.  
  
"It means he drove really, really fast to get here," Daphne said to her daughter.  
  
"For a dog," Frasier said putting his hands on his hips.  
  
"D.O.G." Niles said, "dog."  
  
"But I thought," Frasier said, "You said that."  
  
"He said what," Daphne asked.  
  
"He said that he didn't want a dog," Frasier said.  
  
"But Daddy got him for us anyway," Hannah said cuddling in her father's arms.  
  
"Daphne what did you do to him," Frasier asked.  
  
"Why am I always the one who's blamed when he does something," Daphne asked.  
  
"Because you can get him to do anything," Frasier said.  
  
"Niles adopted the puppy on his own," Daphne said, "I tried everything but in the end, he's the one who brought him home."  
  
"Niles," Frasier said.  
  
"What? They're happy," Niles said as the girls brought the puppy back to the floor to play, "that's all I ever wanted."  
  
"Niles, you were right," Frasier said.  
  
"About what," Niles asked.  
  
"You are destined to live a doomed life," Frasier said.  
  
"I beg your pardon," Niles asked looking over at his wife.  
  
"It's like you said, sharing a house with three women can lead to big trouble," Frasier said.  
  
"You said that," Daphne asked smacking his arm.  
  
"Oww," Niles said rubbing his arm, "honey, you guys were ganging up on me. You banded together like a pack of wolves only, the two youngest used charts and graphs and you.you.used another method of.of."  
  
"Seduction, Niles, she used seduction," Frasier said.  
  
"Frasier, not in front of the girls and Niles Crane," Daphne said, "you are in such major trouble."  
  
"Thanks a lot Frasier," Niles said.  
  
"Hey, you said it," Frasier said.  
  
"That's enough," Daphne said standing up, "Frasier, I think you caused enough havoc in my house for one night. I think it might be a good idea for you to leave before the antiques start flying across the room."  
  
"Uh-oh, Daddy's in trouble," Hannah said.  
  
"No he's not," Vanessa whispered, "Mom's just trying to get Uncle Frasier out of the house."  
  
"Go on," Daphne said pushing him toward the door, "go home Frasier. You've caused quite an uproar in this house, once again."  
  
"But.but," Frasier tried to say.  
  
"Good night," Daphne said pushing him out the door and slamming it.  
  
"Daphne.I," Niles said.  
  
"Niles, shut up," Daphne said rushing over to him and pushing him down on the couch falling with him, "you are in such big trouble."  
  
"See, I told you," Hannah said nudging her sister.  
  
"If I find out that you have said something like that ever again, I'm going to have to take drastic measures," Daphne said kissing him, "you're a lucky man, not a doomed one."  
  
"I know that," Niles said.  
  
"Then why did you say it," Daphne said with a laugh as she pinned him on the couch.  
  
"Because at the time, you were ganging up on me," Niles said.  
  
"Girls, can you give me a hand here," Daphne said, "apparently your father doesn't know what it's like to be ganged up on by his wife and children."  
  
"Yay," Hannah said jumping on the couch.  
  
"Vanessa tickle his feet," Daphne said.  
  
"No don't listen to her," Niles said as his wife and daughters mauled him.  
  
"Well darling, you did want a British pounding tonight," Daphne whispered.  
  
"This is not what I had in mind," Niles said as the puppy started barking.  
  
"Okay, okay, that's enough," Daphne said, "We don't want to get him too excited. We have plenty of time for that tomorrow. But it's getting late and I know two little girls who need to be heading up to bed."  
  
"Oh Mom," Vanessa said.  
  
"Don't oh Mom me," Daphne said with a laugh.  
  
"Can we build a tent in my room," Vanessa asked, "please."  
  
"I don't see why not," Daphne said, "Niles?"  
  
"I don't have a problem with it, but just what are you planning on using as a tent," Niles asked.  
  
"I don't know," Vanessa said.  
  
"Honey do we still have that tent we bought in Belize," Niles asked.  
  
"I think so," Daphne said, "It should be in our closet."  
  
"I'll go get it," Vanessa said.  
  
"Oh no you don't," Niles said, "I'll go get it. You two just take out the puppy and finish getting ready for bed. I'll set it up."  
  
"Okay," Hannah said picking up the puppy.  
  
"Niles," Daphne said once the girls had left the room, "are you sure you want to use the Belize tent?"  
  
"Why not," Niles asked walking toward the stairs.  
  
"I don't know, I just feel a little weird letting our children use it after all we did in that thing when we set it up on the beach," Daphne said.  
  
"You're right," Niles said walking upstairs, "that's the only one we have though."  
  
"Well make something. They're not going to care, they're 4 and 6," Daphne said, "they'll probably think it's much cooler to have makeshift tent built by their daddy."  
  
"Do you think so," Niles said opening the line closet.  
  
"Of course," Daphne said, "I would think it's totally cool for you to build us a tent."  
  
"Us," Niles asked raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah, think of all we could do," Daphne said grabbing some blankets and heading into Vanessa's room.  
  
"Honey that might be a bad idea," Niles said.  
  
"What," Daphne asked, "you're not going to build me a tent?"  
  
"No, not that. Of course I am," Niles said, "but I don't think that building a tent in Vanessa's room is a good idea."  
  
"Why not," Daphne asked.  
  
"It could increase sibling rivalry," Niles said, "if the tent goes in Vanessa's room, she's going to insist that it be in her room whenever we do this again. How fair is that to Hannah?"  
  
"I knew there was a reason I married a psychiatrist," Daphne said playfully, "so we should find some neutral territory then, right?"  
  
"Right," Niles said.  
  
"The den," Daphne questioned.  
  
"Oh no," Niles said walking toward the playroom, "I want them close by so we can keep an eye on them."  
  
"Good thinking Dad," Daphne said, "the playroom?"  
  
"You got it," Niles said, "there's so much stuff in there that if they get too rowdy, we'll know. Plus there's a television in there, which will keep them occupied. You know they won't be getting much sleep tonight."  
  
"Okay, well here ya go," Daphne said handing him the blankets, "you build the base, I'll round up the troops."  
  
A little later that evening with the girls and Picasso tucked into their tent, Niles and Daphne settled down to watch a movie.  
  
"Why do you even bother turning on a movie if you're just going to read a book," Daphne asked turning off the television.  
  
"I can watch a movie and read a book at the same time," Niles said tossing his book on the coffee table, "besides, you're the one that wanted to watch a movie, I just wanted to hold you."  
  
"Oh well you'll just have to read a book more often," Daphne said kissing him gently, "would you be interested in building a tent for your British pound?"  
  
"That does sound intriguing," Niles said standing up and gathering his wife in his arms.  
  
"Ooh so strong," Daphne said reaching down to turn off the light.  
  
"You love it don't you," Niles said carrying his wife up the stairs.  
  
"Yes I do," Daphne said as he set her down in front of their door, "in the words of Vanessa, I'll get the equipment and why don't you check on the little monsters and their furry friend?"  
  
"Okay," Niles said watching his wife disappear into their bedroom.  
  
Niles walked into the playroom to find a blue glow coming from the television. He peaked into the tent to find his daughters sprawled out amongst the blankets and pillows. Sitting in between them was the small wrinkly puppy happily wagging his tail.  
  
"Hey there Picasso," Niles said covering up the girls, "did they pound you in their sleep? They get that from their mother. You'll get used to it. Good night."  
  
Niles walked toward the door and little Picasso followed at his heels.  
  
"Go back to bed," Niles said taking the puppy and putting him back into the tent, "they'll stop after awhile."  
  
Niles walked to the door once more and the puppy followed him again.  
  
"Okay Picasso, it's late and we're all going to sleep now," Niles said to the puppy, "oh my god, I'm talking to a dog. Go on little guy, go to sleep. You've had a big day."  
  
Niles tried once again to leave the room but this time the puppy began to cry as he left.  
  
"Well at least they're heavy sleepers," Niles said picking up the puppy, "I suppose you can come with me."  
  
Niles walked down the hall and entered his room to find the lights dim and soft music playing.  
  
"Daphne," Niles said.  
  
"Oh good, the doctor is in," Daphne said walking out from the bathroom and dropping her robe.  
  
"Um honey," Niles said covering the puppy's eyes.  
  
"Oh my god," Daphne said quickly grabbing her robe to cover herself up, "what's he doing here?"  
  
"He was crying," Niles said, "the girls are sleeping all over the place."  
  
"And you brought him in here," Daphne said, "Honey, he's a dog, not a baby."  
  
"But he's a baby dog," Niles said.  
  
"But what about the tent, the British.," Daphne said pouting.  
  
"Um, I'll just put him back with the girls," Niles said hurrying out of their room and back to the playroom room, "Sorry Picasso, I told you she was my wife."  
  
Niles placed the puppy amongst the blankets and kissed each of his daughters on the head. He jumped up and ran back to his room and his British pound. 


End file.
